Thinking About Forgiveness

Hello and welcome to Thinking Out Loud Thursday!  Each week I take a moment to reflect on whatever’s on my mind—and I’d love for you to link up and share your thoughts too. 

The holiday season is quickly approaching!  Holidays have a way of stirring up all the layers of family dynamics—some sweet, some complicated. And in the middle of it all, forgiveness often becomes one of the greatest gifts we can offer each other.

Our pastor at Christ Church, Shane Bishop, shared a wonderful reflection this week that was just too good to keep to myself.  Here are his words ~

Forgiveness is absolutely essential to any long-term relationship. The fact is, the longer you have been in a relationship, job, or church, the greater the chances that you have been hurt. Not because people are evil or because people intentionally tried to hurt you, but because we live in a fallen world. And in a fallen world, even people of good will who love God and care about each other will get cross-threaded from time to time.

The key to staying in that relationship, job or church is to forgive. I think there are three keys in play here:

1) Determine intent.

Realize the intent is usually not to hurt you. You have to offer the benefit of the doubt here.  If the intent was to hurt you, you don’t want a relationship anyway.

2) Take responsibility.

Realize that you may be partially to blame in the process. I have noticed that people who are frustrated at me are people with whom I am frustrated.

3) Choose to forgive.

That is right. It is a choice, not a disposition.  Forgiveness is often playing for the long game.  

People who can’t renegotiate relationships after being hurt will miss the nearly infinite benefits reaped by both parties in a long-term relationship. If you have been in your marriage, friendship, job, or congregation for a long time, you have a significant investment in that relationship. You have built something significant together.  Don’t let temporal disappointments rob you of infinitely greater long-term (or even eternal) joys.

What is the secret of successful long-term relationships?  

Forgiveness. 

Plain and simple. 

If you'd like to hear more from Pastor Shane, our weekly services are online.  They can be found HERE.  

Now it's your turn.  What are you thinking out loud about today?  Link up and share!

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